Picture perfect day

today, my baby maker hurts :/

i feel a kick of hope then again a cramp of fear...


which one is it..
i don't know anymore, someone look at my face and please please somebody tell me what they see.

The color of a feeling

does anyone have any idea how lonely blue feels?
what about how absent the color red looks?
no attraction what so ever to anything anymore.. man.. i want a muffin.

Now how do i deal with what is going on? do i tell my mother of my unsuspected surprise? nah, I'm moving out anyways, but then, how do i tell him? his own kid.. or maybe what? no one knows.. yet another bastard illegitimate child brought in the form of a Phoenix that fell from the sky.

I love it...

but still, does anyone know what the color grey feels like?
lonely, yet sufficient enough to stroke my ego.. and fill the empty black void inside me.
a tone rather than a color betters my judgement tenfold- then again, it can quickly damn it.

AHH FUCK HERE IT COMES! ...
.
...
......
...
.
~ACHOO!~

FUCK SUNdays...

I hate sundays..
ive spent yet another sunday doing laundry, getting screamed at, and sleeping..
all have a reason behind them though.

now.. on to better things... im actually txting davesott@yahoo.com XD prepared to get spammed david! **not to be confused with DAVID PAZ.. which i rly loathe for no apparent reason.. hope he gets this. :D**

now.. i will tell you i have selective listening, so i only hear what i want to hear..
so this is what i hear in a convestion... "yeah, he was (on my laptop once and he did the cutest thing with a pencil. man i have been) MASTERBATING like so much..(what is wrong with me?).."

man i took a pic of my sister typing.. she hasnt noticed the computer isnt even on

yet.. LMFAO

18 & PREGNANT WITH CONFUSION

Im really confused.. is thier at least ONE person out their who can give me what I want? A companionship and comrodary for life! seeing as we both have faced adversity.. then what?
Do we go separate ways?
OR do we continue our oddesy into the selfish ooblivion of time?
Cant anyone here me screaming TREASON, as the tears race down my face and taint my silken blouse a crimson hatred turned by agony? or have people been too caught up with their intricate unimportant details, to sustain what they peacefully have, to notice how other people are in pain around them?


WHY DOES THE SKY WEAP?
No one notices its screams and roars in the distance as it tantrums closer do they? NO... Its the same with me. I am mute, silent now of desire to continue forth without a companion, not because I am afraid and hurt, but because the rest of my journey is to be accompanied by a hero... MY hero and I know I will be alone

Next time you ask me what is wrong, shut up and look at my face for once... watch hard enough and you might see a slip in my phony smile.. a slip in my features.
You'll notice weakness, yet in a moments notice, strength once again takes over my face and I will continue like nothing is wrong.. I know I'm an invisible warrior fighting a beast too bit to kill.

Third period... again

LATELY.. i have been posting only during third period.. and mostly on a daily basis.. i think i have no life

OH GOD I KNOW I HAVE NO LIFE :S
grrr.. now last night i pissed off a couple of people..
1. Scott moyer
2. Chris (whatever his name is)
3. Nick (" ")

rly.. pplz i dont care if i have a potty fucking mouth.. or that i have to sleep
im not gonna submit to you so forget it.. its not me, and never will be

now some one save me from my boredom or feel my wrath
LMFAO-NOT. -_-'

Sm@a1L AcC0mP1!$HM3NT$

Today i gave a muffin to Jasmine Salgado... I feel accomplished :D

MY RIBS HURT

OKAY, I'm in third period again... we are designing websites (html of course) and my ribs hurt because this morning i woke up funky...
I really miss my bf :/ the new one anyways lol I got to talk to LEROY this weekends. It was the shit-disco. i think i want I'm to dye my hair, or at least get Denise to give me some high lights or something. i feel like I'm missing something (like my bf :/ ) I know ill figure it out by the end of the week-- but WHAT EVER. -_-
I also talked to my dad.. well they guy who volunteered to be him. He was having shit luck like i was as well.. i forgot to tell him i got a new set of choppers lol they are so white! i have to get my original teach bleached to make them match or else people will know that they are not mine.
I dont think im missing anything other than i made a new friend.. his name is chris and i chilled with him on a sat lolol :D
umm ill put a pic of him below

THIRD PERIOD ON A THURSDAY

WELL.....
Today is thursday.. and i am not gettting along with my inner feelings well.. I am hiding them well but i mean, i feel like they are going to spill out anymoment.. i only have to wait a little more and then i know it will bel over...
grrr my muscles are sore! and well.. that is just adding to my mental fatigue, know what i mean?!
ahhh im tired of all the noise.. i dont want anything anymore!!! I FEEL LIKE BEING ALONE FOR A LITTLE BIT (yep; just me and my lethargic typing) As you can see... i rly dont want to be here today.. its a pain in the ass and well.. i just wish i could kiss the fish goodbye and re-invent myself again.. or atleast come out as who i realy am in this life. - a chicky momma who loves women and isnt afraid to face advercity! >_<

MY MOM IS MAKING ME STOP WRITING TO PEOPLES IN JAIL.. and that also has me a bit down.. but hey
i have no idea what her problem is but i know she knows best (i hope).